This random post is not an update about how I am doing and what is going on with my new life in Lawndale. Although, a little ditty about that is long past due. At this moment I am taking a step back. Over the past 3 months God has taken me on a crazy journey, one I never expected, anticipated or could have imagined. At every point in this journey I resisted what was happening, or wished for something different...
Initially, I wanted to be abroad all summer - God gave me the LSMP internship in Chicago
I didn't want to quit optometry school, although I knew something was off - Providers, friends and mentors along with a lot of prayer helped me make the decision to back out.
I was worried about my future after quitting school - God gave me a job at Lawndale working closely with patients and providers
I didn't want to work at the Homan site of LCHC - God has given me amazing community and blessings already
I wanted to live in Little Village - I live in North Lawndale, on an awesome block, with a great roomie.
I was scared to work with my doctor - He teaches me new amazing things everyday and challenges me to be better
I thought no hispanic patients would come to Homan - I speak Spanish with patients daily
I was worried I would not have friends - God has blessed me abundantly with awesome people
The Lord works everything out in His time. He did not give me what I wanted in any of these situations. In fact, He did something better in every single one. How beautifully humbling.
I can see God writing my story, turning difficult hurdles into providential successes. In times of doubt, anxiety and loneliness, He sustains.
I love that God is not confined to circumstance or human reason. I love that I have no idea what is to come. I love that what is waiting for me at the end of everything - wholeness, completion and eternal fulfillment - are sure promises.
He did not say it would be easy. He promised it would be worth it. Vale la pena.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
I started to really question my decision to pursue optometry as a career during the second semester of school. I talked to many people about this, got a lot of great advice, prayed about it, and kept going with classes. I finished the first year successfully with a plethora of mixed feelings.
In one particular conversation my roommate told me that optometry school felt right to her. She knew IU was exactly where she was and is supposed to be. I was so jealous of that feeling, and tried my hardest to find that in optometry too.
This summer, I desperately wanted to be in Central or South America doing medical missions. I applied to internships in Ecuador and Guatemala. On the side I also applied for an internship at Lawndale Christian Health Center in Chicago, IL. The organization sounded great, but I had been to Chicago countless times, and wanted to experience a summer abroad. Knowing I would say "adios" to the U.S. in a heartbeat, God gave me no choice! I was denied by both abroad opportunities and accepted in Chicago.
Since school ended in May I've been praying hard about what to do. I talked with many friends, professionals, and persons outside my situation. I knew that I didn't love optometry, but couldn't put my finger on why or what do to about it.
As soon as I drove into Lawndale (Chicago) I knew that I was going to like the internship. The other interns quickly became my close friends and I loved the community. While shadowing optometrists, PAs and MDs I began to realize a few things. First, I don't feel differently about optometry even in an ideal setting. Many patients here speak spanish, the clinic is in an underserved area, etc. Still I don't feel excited about the possibility of practicing optometry in this setting. Second, I love primary care. Optometry is very specialized, which I initially liked. Now I see that my personality, passions and the way I holistically approach patients fits better into primary care medicine. I like dealing with the entire body, chronic conditions, and the emotional effects a diagnosis may have. Primary care is hands on and all around much more interesting to me. I feel like I finally found something I really love.
So I decided to quit school. The decision was difficult. I prayed about it for months, sought out opinions of people I trust, and was blessed with spontaneous conversations that pointed me in the right direction.
Just before leaving Lawndale, I talked with Bruce Miller the CEO about my recent decision. He pointed me to several people that I could talk to about possible employment. This was a surprise to me since I had only just started to think about the daunting "job search." So, right before I left I was able to meet with the head of human resources. She made a phone call and asked if I would be able to interview that evening for a medical assistant position. Wow. I was shocked at how quickly things were moving along.
I interviewed for the position at 5 pm and then drove back to MI. For the next several days I prayed a lot, spent time just being quiet and journaling. I definitely wanted a job at Lawndale, but felt like I needed to step back and make sure that this was from God not me.
A few days later I got a phone call from Lawndale for a second interview. I had that interview this morning, and accepted a job offer afterwards. So, within a one week span I quit optometry school and got a job in Chicago.
If you get anything out of this story, hear one thing. God is good. He works in crazy and mysterious ways. For some reason I needed to complete a year of optometry school, quit, do the lawndale internship and now work here. I could NEVER have predicted this, which is what makes it so great.
Parts of the past year have been so difficult, but God is so faithful, always having our best interests at heart. This is a lot of information and for those I haven't talked with yet, probably a shock! Feel free to call me anytime to talk about it.
Thank you friends and family for your support, love and prayers during this transitional time. I am blessed to have you.
Since school ended in May I've been praying hard about what to do. I talked with many friends, professionals, and persons outside my situation. I knew that I didn't love optometry, but couldn't put my finger on why or what do to about it.
As soon as I drove into Lawndale (Chicago) I knew that I was going to like the internship. The other interns quickly became my close friends and I loved the community. While shadowing optometrists, PAs and MDs I began to realize a few things. First, I don't feel differently about optometry even in an ideal setting. Many patients here speak spanish, the clinic is in an underserved area, etc. Still I don't feel excited about the possibility of practicing optometry in this setting. Second, I love primary care. Optometry is very specialized, which I initially liked. Now I see that my personality, passions and the way I holistically approach patients fits better into primary care medicine. I like dealing with the entire body, chronic conditions, and the emotional effects a diagnosis may have. Primary care is hands on and all around much more interesting to me. I feel like I finally found something I really love.
So I decided to quit school. The decision was difficult. I prayed about it for months, sought out opinions of people I trust, and was blessed with spontaneous conversations that pointed me in the right direction.
Just before leaving Lawndale, I talked with Bruce Miller the CEO about my recent decision. He pointed me to several people that I could talk to about possible employment. This was a surprise to me since I had only just started to think about the daunting "job search." So, right before I left I was able to meet with the head of human resources. She made a phone call and asked if I would be able to interview that evening for a medical assistant position. Wow. I was shocked at how quickly things were moving along.
I interviewed for the position at 5 pm and then drove back to MI. For the next several days I prayed a lot, spent time just being quiet and journaling. I definitely wanted a job at Lawndale, but felt like I needed to step back and make sure that this was from God not me.
A few days later I got a phone call from Lawndale for a second interview. I had that interview this morning, and accepted a job offer afterwards. So, within a one week span I quit optometry school and got a job in Chicago.
If you get anything out of this story, hear one thing. God is good. He works in crazy and mysterious ways. For some reason I needed to complete a year of optometry school, quit, do the lawndale internship and now work here. I could NEVER have predicted this, which is what makes it so great.
Parts of the past year have been so difficult, but God is so faithful, always having our best interests at heart. This is a lot of information and for those I haven't talked with yet, probably a shock! Feel free to call me anytime to talk about it.
Thank you friends and family for your support, love and prayers during this transitional time. I am blessed to have you.
"So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as sure as the dawn. And He will come to us like rain..." Hosea 6:3
Friday, July 12, 2013
Snapshots of Lawndale
Lawndale has been, is, and will continue to be an amazing experience. God has blessed me so much. It's pretty unreal.
I've met some people here who I will keep in touch with forever. It blows my mind to think that we were complete strangers only 2 weeks ago. Again, God is good.
Work highlights:
-- Home visits with patients. Two days a week another intern and I go on home visits with a practitioner from Lawndale. The patients we see suffer from hypertension, diabetes, or asthma. In the home we check bps, blood glucose, and go through a series of educational materials with the patient. It's been so great to see the patients in their home environments, to set goals with them, and to hear about their lives. We've prayed with many of the patients about their conditions and other issues too. Amazing to see how God works through those visits.
-- Devotions time and conferences with Lawndale staff. Many people on the Lawndale staff have led us in fantastic devotions, discussions and conversations. Pastor JB has challenged us to really take what we're experiencing to heart instead of just academically understanding what we see.
-- Working with some talented, humble, and selfless doctors and staff at Lawndale. Two days a week I shadow providers. I see them remain calm when they're two hours behind. I see them speak spanish. I see them witness to patients. I see them ask for my opinion. I see their commitment to the community and to their patients. Mostly, I see things I value and love in what they do. I see myself in their shoes. One day!
-- Saturday health fairs. I was in my glory last saturday, which marked our first health fair in Little Village. I checked blood pressures, spoke spanish, met new people, talked about God, and felt like I was in Mexico for the day. Couldn't stop smiling. Need I say more?
-- I get to speak spanish everyday. No lie, figuring out what to say and how to say things in Spanish is like an insanely fun game for me. Last night our group had dinner at a Lawndale psychologist's home. We wound up sharing study abroad experiences and chatted about how useful spanish is around here. At one point he said, "I don't think I've ever met someone who is so excited about spanish." Classic.
Other highlights:
-- Community dinners with the other interns. No words can describe the awesome bonding that occurs during these dinners that turn into entire evenings of laughing, deep talks and general splendor. As a friend said, "We're like a little family." And we are.
-- Experiencing the community as a whole. So I've always had this vision of living in a community that is very intentional about loving their neighbors, holding events, investing in relationships, etc. Great news, I found that. I've only been at Lawndale for a few weeks, yet people are inviting me to bonfires, hangouts, retirement parties, church events, volleyball games.. the list goes on. It's rare to find such inviting, genuine people doing life together.
Basically, I love being here. I love Lawndale's mission, I love this community. I'd like to give all the thanks to God though for bringing me here. I was honestly hoping to spend the summer in Ecuador or Guatemala. This internship was my back up plan incase things didn't work out.
The phrase, "We plan, God laughs" has never felt so true.
Rach
I've met some people here who I will keep in touch with forever. It blows my mind to think that we were complete strangers only 2 weeks ago. Again, God is good.
Work highlights:
-- Home visits with patients. Two days a week another intern and I go on home visits with a practitioner from Lawndale. The patients we see suffer from hypertension, diabetes, or asthma. In the home we check bps, blood glucose, and go through a series of educational materials with the patient. It's been so great to see the patients in their home environments, to set goals with them, and to hear about their lives. We've prayed with many of the patients about their conditions and other issues too. Amazing to see how God works through those visits.
-- Devotions time and conferences with Lawndale staff. Many people on the Lawndale staff have led us in fantastic devotions, discussions and conversations. Pastor JB has challenged us to really take what we're experiencing to heart instead of just academically understanding what we see.
-- Working with some talented, humble, and selfless doctors and staff at Lawndale. Two days a week I shadow providers. I see them remain calm when they're two hours behind. I see them speak spanish. I see them witness to patients. I see them ask for my opinion. I see their commitment to the community and to their patients. Mostly, I see things I value and love in what they do. I see myself in their shoes. One day!
-- Saturday health fairs. I was in my glory last saturday, which marked our first health fair in Little Village. I checked blood pressures, spoke spanish, met new people, talked about God, and felt like I was in Mexico for the day. Couldn't stop smiling. Need I say more?
-- I get to speak spanish everyday. No lie, figuring out what to say and how to say things in Spanish is like an insanely fun game for me. Last night our group had dinner at a Lawndale psychologist's home. We wound up sharing study abroad experiences and chatted about how useful spanish is around here. At one point he said, "I don't think I've ever met someone who is so excited about spanish." Classic.
Other highlights:
-- Community dinners with the other interns. No words can describe the awesome bonding that occurs during these dinners that turn into entire evenings of laughing, deep talks and general splendor. As a friend said, "We're like a little family." And we are.
-- Experiencing the community as a whole. So I've always had this vision of living in a community that is very intentional about loving their neighbors, holding events, investing in relationships, etc. Great news, I found that. I've only been at Lawndale for a few weeks, yet people are inviting me to bonfires, hangouts, retirement parties, church events, volleyball games.. the list goes on. It's rare to find such inviting, genuine people doing life together.
Basically, I love being here. I love Lawndale's mission, I love this community. I'd like to give all the thanks to God though for bringing me here. I was honestly hoping to spend the summer in Ecuador or Guatemala. This internship was my back up plan incase things didn't work out.
The phrase, "We plan, God laughs" has never felt so true.
Rach
Thursday, January 24, 2013
What's the hardest part about being in graduate school?
Being in graduate school.
Yes, the course work is challenging. Yes, it's hard a difficult schedule at times. Yes, it's a lot of money.
What bothers me about opt school though, is what it is not.
It is not Calvin.
It is not Grand Rapids.
It is not West Michigan.
It is not what I know, and I hated that. (past tense)
Growing up in a Christian bubble made me restless a lot. I mean, I really appreciated the Christian school and church I went to, but I loved leaving. Nothing excited me more than taking a vacation, mission trip, going to camp, or away for the weekend.
It wasn't until college that I started to truly appreciate Grand Rapids and my community.
At Calvin I was taught to care about others. I was also taught that "others" doesn't only apply to my roommate, family member, or even enemy. It actually applies to my fellow human beings all over the world. It applies to people I don't even know, and people I will never meet.
Calvin taught me global perspective. Not only was I challenged academically, but I learned about culture, I learned about sustainable living, recycling and why I should care about the earth.
I was stretched out of my comfort zone as I traveled to Mexico for interim where I learned how to respect and live in another culture. Better yet, I learned why it's so important to assimilate to a foreign culture instead of purport my own ideals and perspective on theirs. I was mentored, influenced and loved by my professors who really knew me, my life and my passions. I participated in service learning, and volunteering with Calvin alumi in Grand Rapids. I went to chapel every week and was involved in Bible studies on campus. I was connected to people who encouraged me in my walk with Christ. I made friends that were also passionate about healthcare, spanish, missions, global health and sustainability. And... it was awesome.
Then I left.
I made the decision to move to Indiana and attend optometry school last winter. Honestly, I was kind of ready for a change after being in Grand Rapids for my whole life. I was all ready to go to a new place, make new friends and start living.
It wasn't until I got here and started doing life when I realized things might be harder than I thought. It was honestly kind of a culture shock to me. I was used to everyone caring about 'going green' and being excited about global healthcare and ........ the list goes on. I was used to talking about international development, community events, the city, volunteering, free clinics, and missions all the time. It was pretty difficult and rather lonely. And actually, sometimes it still is.
Here's the thing. I do miss Calvin and being around people of like mind. I miss it A LOT actually. I'm beyond thankful for college, because it shaped me in huge ways. It made me into the person that I am today. But, I wasn't meant to stay in that safe little bubble community forever. Through all of my life experiences in Grand Rapids I was shaped to care about certain things. Now, as I go off into the world as an adult I'm equipped to handle, talk about and delve into global issues. I can tell people why I care what I care about, and hopefully inspire them the way I've been inspired. On the flip side, I can learn how other people do life and continue learning more about the world through them. I've already made some great friends here and know that God will continue to bless me as I continue life here.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given is this:
"Don't be a HUMMER in Grand Rapids."
Here's a little context:
The McCropders are a group of doctors that are Calvin graduates. They are currently in France learning French and will be starting a new teaching hospital in Burundi, Africa this coming fall. They've returned to Calvin many times to speak about their experiences in med school and beyond. Last year they came to talk about where God was leading all of their families collectively. Jason Fader, a general surgeon, spoke about the call to missions. He said that if God has placed the desire in your heart for mission work, then just do it. Plan to go, and see where God takes you. He told us not to waste that desire and ability as future healthcare professionals.
He compared a doctor created for international mission work that settles for a comfortable, high paying position to a Hummer in Grand Rapids. The Hummer operates perfectly. It can navigate the highways and backroads of the city with relative ease. Of course it's impressive and functions perfectly, but that's not what it's made for.
Hummers are made to go where most other vehicles can't go. It was made to take long grueling treks in the most extreme conditions with little relief from the elements. So yes, it runs well in a city, but that's not where it shines. In the same way, a doctor called to mission who ignores it is like a Hummer stuck in the city. He or she is made for so much more!
I'm proud to say that I know a lot of "Hummers." I have friends who have been all over the world. Currently I have one former roommate in Spain, another in Honduras and one who just returned from a 5 week medical mission trip in Africa. The other is slaving away in med school with a huge heart for missions. Other friends and former roomies are working in the states with intentions to participate in short term mission work throughout their lives. Others have found their mission in the United States through different careers and goals. I love it, all of it. I'm blessed to be surrounded by so many movers and shakers in a variety of different fields.
I'm definitely a Hummer in the missions analogy. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant, because that is not my intent nor is it representative of who I am. I just know what I'm made for. I love different countries, the world, healthcare, inner city clinics, God, community, the church and mission work. I love teaching people what I know about various cultures and have the desire to work in underserved, poverty filled areas. I didn't choose to love those things, I just do!
So I think the move to Indiana might be part of the whole process for me. Before, I traveled to foreign countries knowing I'd be coming home. Now I live in a different state. Maybe the next step is another country.
Either way, I know that God is taking me. Where? Who knows! With what career or talent? Who knows! When? No idea.
Does any of that matter? Nope.
So friends, I don't know what field you're called to or what impassions you. But I encourage you to be a Hummer. Do stuff! Be agents of change and renewal! Help people! Love each other and the community you live in! Use all your gifts and talents to maximum potential and you will not be disappointed or unhappy with your life.
Isaiah 43: 2-3 The Message
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior."
I can't beat that ending, so I won't even try.
Rach
Being in graduate school.
Yes, the course work is challenging. Yes, it's hard a difficult schedule at times. Yes, it's a lot of money.
What bothers me about opt school though, is what it is not.
It is not Calvin.
It is not Grand Rapids.
It is not West Michigan.
It is not what I know, and I hated that. (past tense)
Growing up in a Christian bubble made me restless a lot. I mean, I really appreciated the Christian school and church I went to, but I loved leaving. Nothing excited me more than taking a vacation, mission trip, going to camp, or away for the weekend.
It wasn't until college that I started to truly appreciate Grand Rapids and my community.
At Calvin I was taught to care about others. I was also taught that "others" doesn't only apply to my roommate, family member, or even enemy. It actually applies to my fellow human beings all over the world. It applies to people I don't even know, and people I will never meet.
Calvin taught me global perspective. Not only was I challenged academically, but I learned about culture, I learned about sustainable living, recycling and why I should care about the earth.
I was stretched out of my comfort zone as I traveled to Mexico for interim where I learned how to respect and live in another culture. Better yet, I learned why it's so important to assimilate to a foreign culture instead of purport my own ideals and perspective on theirs. I was mentored, influenced and loved by my professors who really knew me, my life and my passions. I participated in service learning, and volunteering with Calvin alumi in Grand Rapids. I went to chapel every week and was involved in Bible studies on campus. I was connected to people who encouraged me in my walk with Christ. I made friends that were also passionate about healthcare, spanish, missions, global health and sustainability. And... it was awesome.
Then I left.
I made the decision to move to Indiana and attend optometry school last winter. Honestly, I was kind of ready for a change after being in Grand Rapids for my whole life. I was all ready to go to a new place, make new friends and start living.
It wasn't until I got here and started doing life when I realized things might be harder than I thought. It was honestly kind of a culture shock to me. I was used to everyone caring about 'going green' and being excited about global healthcare and ........ the list goes on. I was used to talking about international development, community events, the city, volunteering, free clinics, and missions all the time. It was pretty difficult and rather lonely. And actually, sometimes it still is.
Here's the thing. I do miss Calvin and being around people of like mind. I miss it A LOT actually. I'm beyond thankful for college, because it shaped me in huge ways. It made me into the person that I am today. But, I wasn't meant to stay in that safe little bubble community forever. Through all of my life experiences in Grand Rapids I was shaped to care about certain things. Now, as I go off into the world as an adult I'm equipped to handle, talk about and delve into global issues. I can tell people why I care what I care about, and hopefully inspire them the way I've been inspired. On the flip side, I can learn how other people do life and continue learning more about the world through them. I've already made some great friends here and know that God will continue to bless me as I continue life here.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given is this:
"Don't be a HUMMER in Grand Rapids."
Here's a little context:
The McCropders are a group of doctors that are Calvin graduates. They are currently in France learning French and will be starting a new teaching hospital in Burundi, Africa this coming fall. They've returned to Calvin many times to speak about their experiences in med school and beyond. Last year they came to talk about where God was leading all of their families collectively. Jason Fader, a general surgeon, spoke about the call to missions. He said that if God has placed the desire in your heart for mission work, then just do it. Plan to go, and see where God takes you. He told us not to waste that desire and ability as future healthcare professionals.
He compared a doctor created for international mission work that settles for a comfortable, high paying position to a Hummer in Grand Rapids. The Hummer operates perfectly. It can navigate the highways and backroads of the city with relative ease. Of course it's impressive and functions perfectly, but that's not what it's made for.
Hummers are made to go where most other vehicles can't go. It was made to take long grueling treks in the most extreme conditions with little relief from the elements. So yes, it runs well in a city, but that's not where it shines. In the same way, a doctor called to mission who ignores it is like a Hummer stuck in the city. He or she is made for so much more!
I'm proud to say that I know a lot of "Hummers." I have friends who have been all over the world. Currently I have one former roommate in Spain, another in Honduras and one who just returned from a 5 week medical mission trip in Africa. The other is slaving away in med school with a huge heart for missions. Other friends and former roomies are working in the states with intentions to participate in short term mission work throughout their lives. Others have found their mission in the United States through different careers and goals. I love it, all of it. I'm blessed to be surrounded by so many movers and shakers in a variety of different fields.
I'm definitely a Hummer in the missions analogy. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant, because that is not my intent nor is it representative of who I am. I just know what I'm made for. I love different countries, the world, healthcare, inner city clinics, God, community, the church and mission work. I love teaching people what I know about various cultures and have the desire to work in underserved, poverty filled areas. I didn't choose to love those things, I just do!
So I think the move to Indiana might be part of the whole process for me. Before, I traveled to foreign countries knowing I'd be coming home. Now I live in a different state. Maybe the next step is another country.
Either way, I know that God is taking me. Where? Who knows! With what career or talent? Who knows! When? No idea.
Does any of that matter? Nope.
So friends, I don't know what field you're called to or what impassions you. But I encourage you to be a Hummer. Do stuff! Be agents of change and renewal! Help people! Love each other and the community you live in! Use all your gifts and talents to maximum potential and you will not be disappointed or unhappy with your life.
Isaiah 43: 2-3 The Message
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior."
I can't beat that ending, so I won't even try.
Rach
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