Why Optometry?

Friends and loved ones,

I agree, it's been far too long since I've updated this blog. Actually, it's been far too long since I've written anything. I often have deep thoughts about things, and if you're unfortunate enough to be my roommate, you get to hear all about these thoughts and feelings at any given moment ;)

Since it's been so long I'll just go ahead and dive right in.

One of the hardest things about starting graduate school is that my free time is so restricted. In undergrad I was able to work, volunteer several different places, get good grades, spend time with friends and family, participate in mentoring relationships, teach piano, take piano lessons.... the list goes on. The funny thing is, I thought I was busy then.

Contrary to my past self, I like to be involved in many, many things. Right now I can't be, and that's frustrating. One of my biggest fears is that I'll finish school in 4 years involved in nothing with zero connections to missions/ organizations/ anything at home or abroad. I know it doesn't have to be that way, but those thoughts are definitely still there.

These thoughts and fears are why I initially really questioned my decision to be an optometrist at the start of the semester.  Mid fall  I was pretty convinced that I would be quitting, moving back to MI and attending seminary, or grad school for clinical counseling. I wanted to keep taking spanish classes as well, I wanted to learn other languages, and loved the idea of participating in an intentional community or some type of inner city housing. I still love these ideas, and I still question the decision at times. If you're a praying kind of person, and even if you're not, would you mind praying for me about this?

Moving on....

In working through all of this I came a very important conclusion. It really doesn't matter to me what my career is. What I really want to do is go into under served areas, the inner city, third world countries, and spanish speaking communities to serve, work, learn, teach, be taught, love and be loved. I want to talk to people about why I'm a Christian and help them in any way possible. I can do that as an MD, social worker, counselor, optometrist, sociologist, community development coordinator, etc. So friends, this particular career path is just one I've been led to and plan to continue pursuing until I'm led somewhere else. Am I confused about it? Yep. Am I naturally gifted in other areas? Absolutely. Do I wonder if I pushed through science classes that I didn't love all for a career I'm not sure I like? hahaha YES.

Anyways, I don't know what the heck I'm doing in Bloomington right now and I have no idea where a degree in optometry will lead, but the little saying below sums up my thoughts perfectly.

I have a hard time believing that I'll be practicing optometry in 20 years. Actually, I have a hard time believing I'll ever only work as an optometrist. I simply have way too many interests to stick with one career at a time. Perhaps I'll be a counseling, human rights advocating, spanish speaking, musical optometrist missionary who loves recycling. Luckily, from what I hear, all kinds of talents are useful in life :)




This summer.

The first summer of optometry school is completely free, meaning I have from the second week in May to mid August off. Whoa.

Options: find a job for a few months, find an internship, bum around doing nothing, take classes in a different discipline, go on a mission trip......

True to myself and my go getter personality, I've been poking around for opportunities the past month.
I've come up with quite a few possibilities.

• Intern for HCJB Global in Quito or Shell, Ecuador. This is the organization started by Nate Saint, a missionary pilot who was killed with several other missionaries while attempting to bring the gospel to the Auca people back in the 1950s. His story is told in the movie "End of the Spear." This sounds like a good opportunity, although I would definitely still be taking on the role of student as I assist in the hospital with patient care, surgical tech type duties, and ER support. The internship is for 6 weeks and spanish ability is required. 

• Intern with Paradise Bound Ministries in Guatemala. A big plus to this internship is that I've already been on two short term trips with Paradise Bound in high school. I know Dan and Heidi the missionary couple and would love to see the progress they've made with the orphanage, and their mission in general. For this internship I would be taking more of a leadership role in the building projects, dedication of homes, medical clinics, etc. Groups would be coming down all summer for short term trips, and I would be staying from June until I start school in August. 

• Cambodia. A friend from Honduras who lives in Seattle is a counselor for women previously held captive by the sex trafficking network. Since Seattle is such a large seaport in the US, sometimes asian girls are shipped in semi truck containers across the ocean into that port where they are smuggled into the US and sold into that industry. My friend's job is to find out how this happens, assist in raids of homes where these girls are kept, and primarily to counsel them through after they've been rescued. In many Asian countries prostitution is legal, so the point of going to Cambodia would be to support agencies that rescue women from the sex trade, and assist them with education and a career. This trip would be awesome, but it's only for 2 weeks, so I may have to wait to do that another year. 

• There's a possibility of me working in Haiti with an optometrist there.

• Take spanish/psych/public health classes at home or in Bloomington and work/volunteer.

So those are my options right now. I've sent a dozen or more emails that I haven't gotten responses to yet, so I'm guessing I'll have a few more place to apply as well.

Stepping away from all of this, I realize that it is a tremendous blessing to even think about applying for internships like these. I look back on the incredible journey I've already been on in life and am astonished at how far God's already brought in my relationship with Him, and my ability to trust Him. 4 years ago, I would never have felt comfortable committing to spend a full summer abroad. Now, after many travel experiences through Calvin, learning spanish, and experiencing other cultures, I feel more than prepared to do something like this.

Thanks to God for giving me an adventurous spirit and a passion for under served people. Thanks to you all for reading this, for caring, for reading it even if you don't care all that much ;) and for supporting me in all my crazy ideas and travels.

These opportunities, others, and the decision about what to do this summer will be prayed about a lot over the next few months, and I would appreciate if you'd pray from them too!

I have soo much more to say about different topics, but I'll save them for another post in a few days.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. He is the true reason for this season, huh?

Rach

How I feel today, and pretty much everyday

Dreaming...

I would like to wander around the world wearing TOMS shoes and carrying a well worn Bible for the rest of my life. Specifically, I would like to wander around spanish speaking countries providing eye care and speaking spanish as I go. I would like to talk about Jesus and how being a Christian has changed my life. I would like to walk alongside people as they struggle with physical, emotional and spiritual difficulties. I would like to educate others on what's going on in the world and how people in other cultures live. I'd like to learn how to better love and serve those who live very differently from myself. I would like family and church groups from the states to come visit, learn with me, teach me, serve with me, spread love with joy. 

I want to love the world as hard and best as I can until I'm taken from it. 

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, 

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." 

Psalm 37:5-6

Look for a blog post over Thanksgiving with life updates and more thoughts (of course ;) ) 

New Home, New School, New Friends, New Life

I made it!

Bloomington, Indiana, my new home for the next few years.

It's so interesting to see how my whole life has worked up to where it is right now. I remember being so worried about the OAT, picking a school, moving, etc. Yet as soon as those things came to pass I forgot about how big of a deal they were at the time. Yesterday's worries become today's accomplishments I guess! I'm trying to remember this as I start classes and look up against exams, practicals, boards, and all that.

Since being here I've had dinner at an Olympic gold medalist's house. Crazy right? I met a fiery older lady at church who invited me over to her house for dinner one Sunday. So I went along with several other grad students.

First of all, let me say that this couple has a marriage and life history that I can only hope for one day. Wow. The older man got into wrestling as a middle schooler and went on to become the gold medalist at the Olympic Games in 1960. The games were held in Rome that year, and he showed us all his medal. The story of his life is complex, but basically he made it to the Olympics without much formal training because he refused to be dishonest as many of his coaches wanted him to be. He is such a humble person and gives of his whole life for others. He maintains integrity as a wrestling coach, and gives away so much of himself, both materially and emotionally to others. His wife told me that he fixes people's cars, appliances, etc for free as his ministry. They've had numerous people who were in trouble live with them out of no benefit to themselves. The guestbook on their desk is full of names. I'm sure it's one of many they have, which record people who have come for dinner, an over night stay, advice, etc. Gretchen runs a children's Bible program at a local school and is so bright, bubbly and on fire for God. They see the value of loving anyone and everyone. I sincerely hope to be like them one day!

On another note, school is going well. The classes require quite a bit of work, and I can see that I'll be really busy studying. This is definitely the real deal! I'm so excited to learn all that I'll need to know in order to be an optometrist and all that business.. yada yada.. oh yay I can't wait! I know it's going to be hard, but the end result will be sooo worth it. Of course I'm a huge planner so I'm already wondering what I'll be doing this coming summer, and even after I graduate in 4 years. I'd love to spend some time abroad again this summer working with an optometrist. My ideal summer would be a month abroad, a month home and a month in Bloomington. Pretty sure that will not be happening, but we'll see ;) I feel blessed to have friends in my class at school that also love to do mission work. One day I was sitting in a coffee shop with a few of them and we began discussing plans for a summer trip to work with doctors in a 3rd world country. Ohhhhh myyyy. It was so hard to focus on school after that conversation. Can't wait to see where God leads!

Random things:

I love "The Pour House", a non-profit coffee shop in Bloomington. They support missions all over the world, with pictures and maps of countries, people, missionaries, causes they support on the walls and tables. The atmosphere there is awesome and I can be there for hours studying without getting too antsy. It does make me restless to travel, though, which is dangerous. Also, I spend wayyy to much money there since it's for a good cause. What can I say? I'm a sucker for international mission work. Soma is another coffee shop at which I love to study. It's got gfree food, an awesome hippie atmosphere, space to study. What more could I want?

I've been trying different churches and am still in the process of finding the right one. My roommate and I did start going to a small group though, which was great to find. This particular group is mostly graduate students from different disciplines, and I felt really blessed to be able to get to know some of them this past week. Making new friends is definitely a process as is finding a church home and others to support you in your faith.

I've made some really great friends here so far, though, and am excited to keep meeting more people as time goes on!

I joined a co-op grocery store type thing! I really don't like finances, money, business, companies or any of that, slash I don't know anything about how they work. Butttttt, as I understand it, because I bought into this grocery store called Bloomingfoods, I am a stockholder and receive coupons, monthly updates, discounts, etc. I also get some type of monetary gift at the end of the year if profits are big enough. I think that's right.. but anyways they have all organic, locally grown food. A lot of it is gfree and all of it is super fresh, quality food. I love going there so much!

It is really weird not to be in Grand Rapids. Calvin starts tomorrow and I just can't seem to grasp the fact that this is not a vacation, extended trip or whatever. I'm not going to be driving down Burton with its stupid 30mph speed limit anymore, no more Lake MI, chapel, lab work, piano students, Calvin/Hope, ginger housemates, doba runs, hipsters etc. Wahhhh I'm feeling nostalgic. I am looking forward to being back in the 616 around November though!!

Seriously though, eyes ahead to the future, and everything seems bright. God has some great plans in store and I can't wait to continue living and experiencing those things.

Dream I'm thinking about tonight: opening a non-profit health clinic where I can combine my love of Spanish, eyes, the city, people and Jesus into one. Whoa, buddy... we'll see :)

Life is good; God is better.

Rachel

On Friday morning I will pack up most of my earthly possessions and move to Bloomington, Indiana to start Optometry School. Wow.

Since I've never left home to live in another city, this is a big deal.

Things I will especially miss:

1. Family and Friends

I've lived here for 22 years (almost 23 , but i don't wanna talk about that) so I've spent a lot of time with people that I love. I will miss these people dearly! Thanks friends and family for being there. I have cried to and with many of you, yelled at some, laughed my head off, enjoyed the best of times and the very worst of times. Thanks to those of you who have encouraged me in school, my walk with Christ, my relationships, and just plain ME in general. Special thanks to those who have lived with me.. that is not an easy task!! ;)

2. Madison Square Church

I have grown to love this church so much during my time at Calvin. It is an amazing place of community, love and support. I feel like I experience a small taste of what heaven will be like every Sunday. I love its mission, I love the pastors and church leaders. Getting to know pastor Joy has been a highlight of this year for me. I am very sad to leave a church that so closely adheres to what I think a church should be. However I will take what I have learned from Madison and apply it to my future. I know that there is a place for me in Bloomington. Although I feel sadness about leaving this church home, I wait in eager expectation for what God has already prepared.

3. Calvin

The name Calvin College evokes so many emotions for me. Four years ago I entered the doors of Noordewier - VanderWerp as a freshman pre-med student, eager to start classes and make new friends. Immediately, I loved dorm life. I was reminded by my RA at graduation in May that on my first night in the dorms I ran down the hall saying " I love boys" after the Beets boys serenaded our dorm in their boxers. Ahhhh... a shining moment for me. Since then I've grown and changed so much.

Calvin is home, school, friends, enemies, challenges, pain, fun, tiredness, embarrassment, regret, pride, triumph, opportunity, love, passion, intelligence, and Jesus. ( It seemed right to end with Jesus :)

I'll miss the familiarity of Calvin's atmosphere. Chapel, the library, 5th floor, CIT, the lab, the science building, De Vries Hall, the gym, practice rooms in the FAC, walking across the bridge to DeVos, Johnny's.

I'll miss the terminology. In Indiana no one knows about the Calvin/Hope rivalry. A calvin walk, dance guild, airband, commons, uppercrust, quest, bequive, bonus bucks, freshman frenzy, senior scramble, academic advising, interim, reading recess, the Fish House, passport, the dorm names and so much more.

I'll miss scheduling classes on knightvision, picking my science professors because I actually know almost ALL of them at a semi personal level, knowing what to expect each day...... i could go on all night people!

 Calvin, a place where I've endured and learned a lot. I've been inspired, experienced heart break, been motivated, discouraged, pushed, equipped and formed into exactly who God wants me to be at this moment. When I came four years ago, I didn't know if I could complete all the courses and actually make it into school. Thank you Calvin and God for the past four years.
________________________________________________________________________________

Someone once told me that a person changes for two reasons,
1. Happiness - changing offers a better or more enjoyable situation
2. Pain - suffering causes an individual to realize he or she needs to make changes

I am a very stubborn person, so usually I will make changes because they benefit me. Other changes, the ones that need to be made the most, often require suffering for me to even realize I have a problem let alone make changes.

That said, I'm excited to make some changes to myself when I move to Indiana. It's kind of refreshing to be able to have a fresh start with people that don't know you at all.
                On a superficial note, I plan to wear less makeup in Indiana. You know. set the standard low so that if I feel motivated to wear mascara one day everyone is wowed! :)
                But seriously, I've learned so many valuable lessons about myself in the past years. I am determined to make time for friends, relationships, church and other things that are important to me in Indiana. I refuse to let studies take the #1 priority spot in my life. Although grades and succeeding in academics are important, relationships, people and faith are more important!
                 I also want to become more involved in a church. I never joined a small group or became involved in Madison Square CRC very much, which is something I should have done. I look forward to participating actively in a solid church community. Mostly, I look forward to letting people know that my faith is the most important part of my life. Many people already know this, but I'm eager to be more transparent and open about that right from the start as I enter the new school and school year.

If you take anything away from this post here's the summary:

I've had a good life. I've made so many mistakes and have numerous regrets. I know that in Christ I have a future hope of eternal life. Until then, I'll continue to passionately and eagerly pursue Christ in every aspect of my life. Optometry school is my next step and then who knows. Thanks to God for the past and thanks to God for future hope.

Love and peace to you today.

Jesus Appointment

Do you ever have moments or meetings that you know for sure the Lord orchestrated? Of course He is present in each conversation and interaction we have throughout the day, but I firmly believe that some occasions are special gifts from Him. Tonight was one of those times for me. A dear friend, mentor and role model and I met for one of the last times before I move to Indiana. After a time of catching up we began to dig into deeper issues. As I shared what I'd been feeling and thinking about recently we began to make amazing connections between our life stories. She had and does have some of the same exact feelings and struggles that I've had and have been having. It was strange and almost surreal to me when she began to say some of the things that have been on my heart for weeks. As we talked back and forth we actually grew more and more excited about how well we could identify with the other person's feelings. We began reading scripture that fit with what we were talking about and grew so excited about how God is working in both of our lives. I was literally smiling from ear to ear! Yay, God! 

Then I stopped to think, should I really be that surprised? Shouldn't I expect God to show up for me in ways like this. Why do I worry about life, friendships, the future? He always shows up for me and has promised to always do so in every situation. 

These are great reminders for me as I get ready to move to Indiana. Although there are SO many unknowns, and at times it is extremely overwhelming, God knows what He's doing. 

Tonight I feel restless and ready to get going. I want to do things for God, and feel used by Him. It's time to close the chapter on my life in Grand Rapids and begin anew in Bloomington. 

Yay for God surprising us when we shouldn't be surprised at His grace. Yay for old friends and relationships that will never go away with distance. Yay for new beginnings. Yay for opportunities to keep growing in God's plan for my life. 

A prayer that I often pray over my own life, and pray for everyone else too...

Phillipians 3:7-14

⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

As I move on to school and a doctorate degree, I remember that my ability to obtain an education is nothing. I don't take ultimate pride in my ability to study and learn, nor will I ever find great value in becoming a doctor. I know that my days on earth could end tomorrow so therefore, Christ and living for Him is all that truly matters to me. I pray that nothing in my life will ever become so important that this perspective is taken away from me. Praise God that He is first in my heart and life.

I pray that you readers and friends may find the same freedom and rest that I have experienced in letting God take first priority in my life. 

Peace and Blessings to you all,

Rachel